i sat in the open & looked up at the sky.

it was dark & you were sleeping.

i lifted my hand to grab the stars but quickly realized

i couldn't reach & the best i could do was to keep them from falling.

for if they fell tonight, they would not know where to land.

i found the moon. 

waning & sleeping with the vinyl.

hot & sweaty i touched her hair & sang to her softly.

she was oblivious to my presence but i'd like to think she smelled me

in the morning. 

sometimes the incompleteness overwhelms me

broken thread trying so hard to reach

swimming hard for the surface in a pool of jello

fighting against someone that fell asleep two hours ago

kicking a steel door with a shattered ankle only to find if i break through

you already left for the day

...& i puke.

this existence doesn't make any sense.

life in photographs.

i forget what it felt like.

what the weather was doing those days.

the stories we were telling & all the things we had to say.

it's just a blank page now waiting to be filled

or burned or left alone or ignored or forgotten.

i've got a tale to tell that nobody's ever heard

& it will be the best one you've ever read. 

it's just a skeleton in the closet but the bones are all there

i just need your skin & muscle & teeth & hair.

it's so thick in here.

i cough & bleed & cough some more.

we float around like molecules of oxygen

or particles of light, not too quick to invade

not too quick to escape.

we shift from red to green to blue to black,

never really settling.

never really allowing ourselves to actually

figure out which one best fits.

and we will dine & dance & sleep & die & dance again.

what goes on will fit to time like a favorite t-shirt

but be removed & replayed in different forms & fashions.

we will wake up & wonder who we are & how we got here,

where to go & how to get there.

it's all up hill or down hill or maybe not on a hill at all?

i hurt your feelings & i'm sorry.