the hopes and dreams...

let's rough up the world together

go on an adventure that doesn't end

jump in puddles and play in the rain with our shirts off

take pictures of birds and skylines and paint our emotions out on canvas

sing songs of sadness and songs of joy while wiping each others tears

write stories of new and share tales of old

give heart to you and you to me

push little kids on swings and teach them how to swim

travel to places of no great significance and make them matter to us

grow old...

100%.

i am an alien

it must be what has everyone talking

i can't breathe.

i'm a dark cloud. i didn't mean to bring you down.

i'm sorry that my touch must cut.

that my eyes make you miss your flight.

i'm a dog chasing his own tail, not paying attention to the traffic i've circled into.

i need to empty the cage and clean out the feathers.

we build a house of cards so carefully and with so much pride in what it is

only to have a tiny wind blow it to the ground at our feet

i can't pick up the cards.

they won't even stick to my fingers.

i got caught in a thunderstorm and didn't know how to escape...

so i swallowed it and became the gale.

i am comfortable and that makes my stomach disown me daily.

to know that all i do is prove you farther and farther away from me hurts with no definition.

i am lost and in the dark and don't know my ass from my nose.

you are things i never knew you were.

and for you...

march on.

hope is a slippery stone but if you can grasp it, shove it deep into your pocket. 

fight for what is yours.

know that weariness will come and sleep's siren song will call out to you.

don't give up.

waves will crash your tiny boat and leave you flailing for a scull.

the light will come and go and come and go

but know that you have to keep moving.

these things i've learned.

there's two paths in every journey.

hopefully, you get to walk along the one that is constantly set in spring.

silly boat.

when i was a boy, i played like a boy
i had a boat with a string attached to it...you know, the classic toy boat
the wonders of this string were to allow the boat to drift out to sea but never be to far adrift that you could not simply draw it back in...as to prolong the life of the toy
when i was a boy, i played like a boy
i loved the notion of sailing freely on the waves...
not the idea of constantly being held in by a thin wire
one day, i cut the tie and i let my boat float
at first i was overjoyed by simply seeing my tiny toy boat bob along,
slowly making it's course farther and farther away from me, wave after wave
but my joy slowly turned to heartache as i realized this was the last voyage of me and my boat
my boat was now on it's own...just a boat and the sea
the tears ran down my cheeks as i watched it disappear on the horizon
tears of sadness and tears of joy met on my tiny round face
i loved the times my boat and i shared and was sad that they were over
and i also knew my boat was a boat and was born for that voyage...
born to go there without a string
when i was a boy, i played like a boy
i walked away from the beach that day alone and lacking the company of my toy
but deep inside i knew i had done the right thing, despite how i felt on the surface
i learned then, that sadness is often the doorway we have to walk through to see the glory of it all
knowing what's beyond the sadness is always greater than the sadness itself
like my boat...it was finally able to be just that which it was intended to be...a boat
and for all the sadness i've felt for losing that boat as i recall the story throughout my life,
i'm repaid ten times over with joy knowing it's doing what it was meant to do
because i cut the string

theater.

i don't think i know you anymore.

i thought i did and would fight endlessly to...

but revelations come and go

we see the curtain rise, watch the show, applaud the bow

...and then meet the actors in the hall

and it's always a little sad to me when  you have to walk away realizing

who you just met isn't who you fell in love with for the past few hours.

as of late...

you're so very special
i wish i was special...

but i'm a creep
i'm a weirdo
what the hell am i doing here
i don't belong here...

shine on me.

i sat down in my office this morning, turned on my computer and found this...it was quite an overwhelming 6 minutes...much needed, much appreciated.

I was lost when you found me here
You pulled me close and held me near
And I'm a fool but still you love
I'll be a fool for the king of love

He gave me wings so I could fly
And gave me a song to color the sky
And all I have is all from you
And all I want is all of you

It's grace, grace
I'm nothing without you
Grace, your grace
Shines on me

And there've been days when I've walked away
Too much to carry
Nothing left to say
Forgive me Lord when I'm weak and lost
You traded heaven for a wooden cross

And all these years you've carried me
You've been my eyes when I could not see
And beauty grows in the driving rain
Your oil of gladness in the times of pain

It's grace, your grace
I'm nothing without you
Grace, your grace
Shines on me
Your grace, your grace
I'm nothing without you
Grace, your grace
Shines on me
Shines on me
Shines on me...

these days.

my hands are shaking

my back is breaking

from all these years i've carried you

faith is all that's left of me

but i'd rather be blind and believe

i've never needed sight to move into the truth

but where are you?

feeling like you need to be

a perfect place?

don't let the darkness suffocate

what the tide brought in.

i floated out on the sea

and met grace face to face

she was beautiful, like no one i'd ever seen

she lifted me up in her arms

and plunged me to the deep

and it was there all alone, she taught me how to breath

and it happens every time

my lungs start to rise

the doors open up

wires start to unwind

the machine slowly wakes

and the cadence begins

the angel opens her eyes

and the light filters in

 

sometimes you just have to go there.

i just shot myself with a forty five and while i'm lying here bleeding out i thought i should take the time;

if i find myself at the top of a mountain, glad to know your there beside me

i always thought it was complicated but it turns out to be very elementary

tonight i saw jesus and he told me to tell you hi

the desert sands could never leave me, the air will never get too dry

i've always been a sucker for your attitude, being wrong will never get old

i remember the days when you had purple eyes and waking up was my favorite time

i've never been short of words to say, but you, your timing is golden

i could carry around the weight of this thing, cause the other option i can't even hold

don't be afraid to chase your dreams, they're never too far away

if we could all catch a falling star...well, duh, we'd put it in our pocket

every time i sing "something happens..." it dawns on me, yeah it does

go into the light alone and don't hesitate to call

i'll be there once i patch this bleeding bullet hole in my skull

ps. i'm really ok, i just hadn't written anything dark and gruesome as of late:)